JAPANESE FILMS I'VE SCREENED

The Film List JAPAN AKA NIPPON
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Avalon	Sci-Fi	This is probably the most thought provoking, gut wrenching thing I've seen since Tetsuo: Ironman, and has the maturity of cinematography to sit nicely with the few key stones of the gritty best, like Blade Runner and Brazil. I love this one, folks, that simple.	Godlike!
Tomie	Horror	Japanese monster girl grows from a severed head in a sack into a woman intent on making men love her and women hate her. Although the doctor's subplot was unfortunately dropped (perhaps setting up a sequel) the ending is neat and overall this film offers some really fresh spins for the genre.	Fun!
Hakaider	Sci-Fi	Robot Men meets Road Warrior. Derived from a big toy and anime line, this is surreal high fantasy sci-fi at it's best and worst. Loads of neato designs and gadgets, but just as much cheese and redundancy. Not bad for a 1995 Robo-Cop sort of film.	Be drunk, you'll enjoy it more.
Battle Royale	Dystopia Action	Brilliant and macabre. A student class gets placed on an island to fight until only one is left alive. Like Lord of the Flies with better weapons. The key that makes this work is the relations that form and crumble between the allies and enemies along the way. The violence is shocking and the social commentary this film provides is deliciously harsh. "Beat" Takeshi Kitano is a terrifying teacher in this, and Yûko Miyamura is completely disturbing as the video instructor girl.	Excellent!
Jubunairu AKA Juvenile Robot	Kid's flick	Cool Kids vs. Aliens story with wonderful effects, robots, creepy aliens with solid characters and a good global story. Really nicely done! And make sure you don't see this dubbed. Subtitles do a lot to cover for potentially annoying child actors. Amen.	Fun!!
Kamikaze Taxi	Humanistic Thriller	Koji Yakusho from Shall We Dance (another film I dig) is wonderful in this as the immigrant cab driver who's personal history leads to the amazing showdown at the end. The quiet places in this are what make it really special. Well shot and crewed.	Excellent!
Baunsu ko GALS aka Bounce Ko Gals	Societal Action	Japanese high school ho's vs. the Yakuza. Awesome! Really a lot of great elements in here, like the girl selling her under garments, and the sympathetic Yakuza boss (Koji Yakusho) and Auntie Saki (Kaori Momoi), and the whole series of subcultures among kids the film looks at. Not schlock in the least!	Excellent!!
The Goddess of 1967	Drama	Beautiful! About a blind Aussie girl, a Japanese embezzler and a car. This film does several things that are hard to read and harder to fully appreciate without being hammered over the head with the story's themes. The film is set up as a series of overlapping contrasts, and that is the part I'm most stricken by. Contrasts of culture, morality, experience, gender, needs and conclusions. The film sets up expectations for the characters, then proceeds to change said expectations as the characters evolve and reveal like layers peeling away. I'm awed by much of the delicate caress of the pacing, and the contrast of the beautiful way many of the scenes are shot against the contents of the scenes themselves. I adore this film.	Brilliant!!!
Angel Dust	Thriller	Serial killer every Monday on the sky train with a syringe to the throat of some young female victim, can the lead detective catch the killer, and is the killer someone from her past? Serial killers, brain washing, interesting challenges to the social gender roles, and excellent cinematography and ambient sound.	Fun!
Tetsuo: Iron Man	Shinya Tsukamoto Sci-Fi Horror	A short film, this thing is a personal favorite! Although the story of revenge often gets lost in manic style that incorporates stop-motion techniques as well as a ton of home spun prosthetic make up artistry; in all I think this is a water mark piece for horror and for visual delivery at a lower budget. Many shots, though nearly as disconcerting as Eraserhead, are still visually intense and read like mutant poetry. And please note that the soundtrack score for this film is one of the hardest things to find on CD I've ever went hunting for. Finally found it in Hong Kong, whew!	Brilliantly tweaked!
Tetsuo: Bodyhammer	Shinya Tsukamoto Sci-Fi Horror	I'll admit that this big budget, sort of remake of Iron Man has a lot of majestic, intense, and simply stunning shots, but: the story is all over the place, and sometimes seems like several competing stories with identical characters that were sliced together. The death of the son is gratuitous and cheap, and many of the tricks using real world stop motion that worked in black and white previously no longer hold up as well in busy full color urban streets, instead the technique becomes comedic and undermines the schizophrenic narrative.	Some nice shots, anyway.
Tokyo Fist	Shinya Tsukamoto Thriller	A whacked and often horrific story of desensitized people in an anonymous culture using self-inflicted pain and torment to feel alive again. The woman's story paralleled against the two men and as well the contrast between the men, from mice to men to zealots is often wonderful. The woman's story alone could make for a beautiful film. This thing is massively loaded and wonderfully, if sometimes excruciatingly shot.	Nifty!
Sakuya The Slayer of Demons	Kid Fantasy	Like Moon Over Tao meets Never Ending Story with some Yojimbo thrown in for good measure. I love everything about this except for the kid. Taro the Kappa is a cute idea gone horribly, horribly wrong. Read what others had to say about it here.	Great visuals, fun story, massively annoying kid.
High School Ghosthustlers	Camp	Schlock at best. Some fun tentacle scenes, lots of phallic slug things (watch out for the ones that spit!), some less than flattering topless scenes, and Senna Matsuda speaking higher octaves than any human ever really should attempt. The neighbor dogs will love this one blasted on surround sound! Shot on video, with possibly some of the worst ghost effects ever commit to a DVD disc.	Goofy fun, best if drunk when viewed.
Weather Woman	Schlock	Fun and generally well done with loads of feisty femme verbal sparring, and some entertaining fetish bits. The parody of television execs desperate for ratings reminds me of Giants & Toys with a dash of Max Headroom absurdity. The finale showdown is pure camp. The bath scene with Kei Mizutani & Saori Taira is stunning, and the enema scene is hilarious! Not for the kids, certainly, but a must see for schlock connoisseurs. And I think the recurring singing numbers might actually qualify this as a musical.	Fun!
Otogiriso (AKA: St. John's Wort )	Horror	Refreshing to see a film that's just good old fashioned spook show. Although it begs the question of the wisdom of basing your next video game on the tragic family history of your artist ex-girlfriend who's just inherited a creepy mansion from an insane painter father she didn't grow up knowing she had, but hey, film is all about answering just this kind of obscure question, isn't it? Neat location, abundant MAC, Quicktime and Lycos product placement, a great psycho video level maker Japanese go girl with blonde mane even, stacks of amazingly, nay, beautifully disturbing paintings all about, seven mummified little boys dressed in little girl clothing, a bevy of antique porcelain dolls, an aged photo of twin children with red headed pins shoved through the eyes, and innumerable brass skeleton keys tucked about like level objectives. Lots of playful stuttering editing playing heavily on multiple planes of perspective (filmatic reality vs. hidden cameras vs. the hand held video game designer ex-boyfriend is toting around). Also some neat use of color and forced compositing to add to the surreality of the scene where our heroes approach with trepidation the decrepit mansion. Reminds me at times of the aspects I liked of the classic horror games like Seventh Guest and I think that really was why the film was nifty, the layers of real vs. game in the making and the tight interaction between the adventuring couple inside the mansion vs. the go girl artist and pensive programmer back in the design studio. The inter cutting of the two locations combined with the playful changes moment to moment in film stock and perceived point of view really took this tidy, cute little yarn to a new level as if to question the movie's very existence as fabrication, a construction in all as well as in layered fictional elements, wrapped up nicely with one of the only occasions I can think of where dual endings has worked as a successful part of the narrative rather than an inability for the production team to commit to a single finale. After all, the film is about making a game out of life, and that means true linear progression without options is truly an abstraction of reality humans accept far too easily.	Clever, simple and fun!
Prisoner Maria, TV version now out on DVD as a "film".	Action	Possibly one of the worst Japanese schlock flicks I have ever seen, which is strange because this appears to be a remake of one that is available from Tokyo Shock that came out in 1995 on video in the states. Or I have that backwards, but no, the copyright info on the DVD is 2000. Regardless, this looks like a made for TV movie, shot on digital video, edited like a rush job complete with innumerable line and axis crossing, continuity blunders to painful to be funny, like the magically disappearing and reappearing cut on her thigh that seems to only pop up for close ups, lame plot, a women's prison loaded with perhaps the most unattractive ensemble of cheap extras I have ever seen (although the pastel uniform dresses were a nice visual touch for the high angle military style recreation yard parade scenes). The lead playing Maria doesn't appear to be same woman from the 1995 flick, wears too much make-up throughout (although the shades and densities frequently vary), looks cool in the black cat suit until non-color adjusted close ups reveal the cheap leotard and Cost Cutter gloves, boots, etc. The token nudes are boring, the prison evil lesbian murderer gang subplot completely abandoned, the gore budget is blown in the first 10 minutes, and even that is lackluster. If you want to show a severed arm, don't show the skinny actor for several minutes dressed in a skin tight shirt that reveals the "missing" arm tied to his stomach under his shirt. I can't suspend my disbelief that far, and I'm easy, I mean, I still buy prat falls. The weapon props and squibs are silly, the A-Team guns were more harrowing. This should be watched by anyone wanting a blue print for how NOT to make a genre crime / action film, especially one that also tosses in the girl prison and La Femme Nikita archetypes.	Deep Hurting.
Prisoner Maria	Action	The opposite of the above review for the most part. A neat combination of elements, loads of gratuitous sex, violence, and a heaping dose of absurdity that keeps it engaging in ways Zero Woman always seemed to lack. To point, you care if the hero Maria, played by Noriko Aota, will get to see her son again, not to mention survive the mess she's been forced to deal with by the authorities. Available from Tokyo Shock this one is pretty nifty.	Fun!
Cat's Eye	Superhero Action	Like Japan's campy answer to Batman old and new and to HK's Heroic Trio. Three women in wonderful latex superhero costumes, loads of nifty sets (including a "Cat Cave" with a mondo retro computer set up, very slick design), some neat fashion sense drawn from an assortment of influences like Mod and Hipster and the Not-So-Roaring Thirties, a whacky latex car, a dash of the Chinese hell sets from Big Trouble in Little China, and even some zany robotic rats. Silly, fun and entertaining. There is a cool fashion photo book as a result of the film that fetish clubbers everywhere should check out in their local Japanese bookstores.	Fun!!
Gômon kifujin AKA Rusted Body: Guts of a Virgin 3	Graphic Schlock	Greed, Adultery, Lust, Torture and eels drunk on sake. Out of control.	Warped.
Samehada otoko to momojiri onna AKA Sharkskin Man & Peach Hip Girl	Crime Drama	Like a Japanese answer to Snatch, this flick ROCKS! Has a heavy but very apt conclusion.	EXCELLENT!
Kekko Kamon	Schlock	Nude superhero woman fights the evil headmaster and his cronies at the all girl private school. Live action remake of a popular anime. Shot to video, don't expect high production value, but the laughs are worth the viewing.	Fun.
Parasite Eve	horror	Science horror flick with one of the best nipple-less nude girl body suits I've seen in a while. Some groovy CGI as well. The hand puppet bird head that kills the giant pulpy snail in the school yard is pure schlock, though.	Fun!
Fireworks	"Beat" Takeshi	Brilliant film of parallel lives experiencing tragedy and recovery. Really a masterpiece throughout.	Brilliant!!!
Undo	Short Drama	Exquisite drama about a failing relationship and a woman, Tomoko Yamaguchi (from Long Vacation fame), who becomes obsessed with tying up everything, including herself, in twine to express her desire to hold onto her progressively more distant lover. Visually lush and wonderfully told. One of my favorites for sure.	Excellent!!!
Aka Kage AKA Red Shadow	Ninja Action	Hip, fun and pretty story of the Shadow Ninja clan going against their authority to oust a traitor in the court of a rival castle and save the ruling princess their. Loved the humor, cinematography and pacing. Music ranges from hip beats to bizarre funk. Death of their Shadow sister played by the awesome Kumiko Aso is out of pace, place and otherwise troublesome, especially when she is one of the films best elements. A cool ride regardless, and very long (2 DVDs) without seeming long or boring.	Groovy!!
Kakashi	Horror	Wicker zombies burn best. Scarecrow reincarnation flick with some jealous ghost vengeance and a dash of implied sibling incest. Fun! Cool Cantonese "Sally" character in the library with her dead father preserved in his wicker body. Based on a Manga. Can't wait to see the sequel!	Excellent!
Shijushichinin No Shikaku	Samurai Epic	Beautifully shot, wonderful costumes, exceptional poetic imagery and majestic array of classically trained posturing women. However this film is amazingly obtuse, generally slow, incredibly dull minimalist payoff, improbable impregnation, and a couple of instances of Evil Dead style blood spray that seem very out of place. The political intrigue is neat, but that does not justify the pace or the ending, or the fact that many of the seemingly incidental plot spurs remain unresolved. I can appreciate that this is an attempt to recapture the classic style and posturing of the old Japanese & Chinese stage play forms and historical yarns like The Tale of Genji. Unfortunately, while beautiful, the film lacks the depth and loaded nuances of the classic form, and a superficial take on classical theater is far too shallow to really herald as a masterpiece. A good film to watch for visual form, but not a good example of story depth.	Obtuse.
Swallowtail Butterfly	Drama	Simply Brilliant. One of my favorite films of all time. Incredible sociopolitical backdrop, incredible array of characters, incredible diversity of situations, styles, nuances. I love and adore this film from the gut to the heart to the mind. On every level it hits a nerve, and my only regret is that this hefty piece of work isn't longer still because the characters get so far under your skin and burrowed into your soul that when the credits roll you feel as though the vacation has come to an end and you're bidding your friends farewell.	Excellent!!!
Freeze Me	Thriller	Well, what could be wrong with a film that incorporates dead would be rapists stuffed into man size freezers which subsequently serve as the latest in living room decor? Or a film that features a generally nude, blood soaked & sweating actress? Well, OK, the plot advancement might be a tad contrived, and the weird way a rape victim in this film is portrayed, at least, I hope women aren't actually so victimized by shame in Japan as to maintain a stoic silence that is so firmly entrenched the antagonists can actually later blackmail the victim vying against her fear that others might know of her "shame" of being deflowered, abused, or molested. Of course I delighted in her murdering her antagonists, and like that when she overreacts and slays her returned boyfriend, the visuals imply she has leapt from the balcony to kill herself rather than live on as a monster as horrible as the men who raped her. So in a nut shell, her inaction for a large portion of the film is agonizing, but understandable in consideration of the themes of the film (action vs. victimization, social shame vs. personal safety, social roles and double standards for men vs. for women). It's an educational bit of work, nicely shot, and generally engaging. Loads better than I had expected it to be. On a neat side note, the star of this, Harumi Inoue, was having dinner at a Sushi joint on fourth, bracketed by a pair of very Yakuza boss looking dudes, tans and black turtlenecks and thick ropey gold chains and tiny glinting glasses, real imposing. My pal Shotaro recognized her. Kind of weird to see a woman out eating sushi that I'd just seen nude, drenched in blood with murder on her mind. Guess that's an illustration of filmic reality for you.	Delightful!!
Honogurai mizu no soko kara aka Dark Water	Horror	Wonderfully shot, loads of lush wet greens and yellows, excellent reveal style sight shock gags, one creepy ass elevator with windows looking out into the passing decrepit hallways, one miserable child actor who spends way too much time soaked to the bone, some excellent back story premise, a down beat ending, and very cool apartment building set. Not the best horror film I've ever seen, though certainly above average and fairly satisfying over all with a decent creep factor too boot. The director and the writer who's yarn this is based on brought us the Ring, which is now being remade and released from DreamWorks with loads of new elements that refer to the book the Ring was originally based on rather than the trio of Ring films or the staggering Ring television drama. And the new one has a killer website as well: http://www.ring-themovie.com Kind of wish the original Ring had the quality cinematography this film has, because while the Ring is far superior scare-wise, it doesn't age well. And if DreamWorks has any smarts, they'll release both versions of the Ring in a DVD package, as the original has not been released here in North America. And if they do, I hope it's with subtitles, not dubbed and definitely not edited for content. Amen.	Fun!
Gohatto aka Taboo	Historical Drama	Pretty to watch, no doubt, as one would expect from a film directed by Nagisa Oshima with "Beat" Takeshi Kitano in the cast list. What wasn't expected, for perhaps the same reason, was a hefty epic about the way a single pretty young swordsman being brought into the ranks of the elite Shogun-era city guard can lead to a complete meltdown in the ranks as all the men try to get some of that action, leading to the inevitable lust, jealousy and eventually: murder. This film is magic, because while maintaining the expected level of beautiful costuming, sword play, dojo sword practices and over all military high drama, it also is telling an all too human story about temptation corrupting the trusts between men while beneath the relentless and unforgiving weight of societal mandates, crew rules, and provincial regulations. The twist of having the temptation be a man rather than the typical siren really got under the skin of my Japanese friends, kind of like showing Last Temptation of Christ to a Right Wing Conservative Caucus during the summer hoe down Bar-B-Q fund raiser extravaganza. It isn't about homophobia, rather, it's just about a film humanizing the mythical and previously unquestioned legends. To ask "what if?" To do so is often shocking and controversial. To do so also often brushes much closer to home, and perhaps also to the root of how things might actually have transpired. Whereupon, having respect for such audacity, I simply say "Hallelujah, please pass da gravy boat, amen!"	Unsettling & brave.
Violent Cop	Drama	Downbeat, slow to build, pointless for the most part once it does build. Lots of neat moments that certainly show precedent for "Beat" Takeshi Kitano's fame, but also a lot of painfully drawn out chapters that really ultimately go no where. That said, there are some moments of cinematic gold here that warrant a viewing despite my grumbling over the film as a cohesive entity. The moment when the antagonist goes to shoot the hero and inadvertently shoots an innocent bystander through the head is profound. Up until the head shot the people on the street are standing around minding their own affairs like numb cattle when the hero is initially shot. Only when the bored and disinterested girl, standing only a few feet away mind you, gets shot through the head, startling her glazed over companion into a sudden eruptions of screams and the bystanders get startled into a fight or flight mentality. This scene seems to speak to a bored, numb and disenfranchised / desensitized urban community in Japan at the time of filming. The whole film points to exploring the same theme, evidenced by the escalation of weapons used, from fists to bats to knives to hand guns to shotguns by the ending, evidenced by the cruel end for the retarded sister and the henchmen and even the money boss who is instantly replaced by another fine criminal specimen, as to say, no one cares, and even after all of this horrible crap happens, still, no one cares, and worse, no one notices at all. There, in a nutshell, is the merit of the film.	Solid though sometimes a bit anti-climatic & underwhelming.
Rouge	Crime Thriller	Woman scarred by her husband's killer seeks revenge and in so doing gets caught up in several overlapping adventures including rescuing her sister (or foster daughter, I was never exactly sure) from a pimp, feeding a cat, inspiring a child to draw alone for hours unattended at a restaurant, and trying out lesbianism (with perhaps the longest non-pornographic love scene I've ever seen outside of Bruce's Willis's infernal lovefest Color of Night, though not nearly as traumatizing) with a woman photographer obsessed with the widow's very sassy facial stitches scar. Cool.	Engaging.
Misa the Dark Angel	Horror	From bad to worse to abysmal. And I can never get those 2 hours of my life back. At least the creepy doll that vomits maggots was cool. Sigh. And in case it wasn't already a poster child for suck, it was dubbed as well. Apparently with a very high Paul Reubens doing all of the voices for all of the robust female high school cast. Sounds cool on some level, but no, just deep, deep hurting. Even the nude scene is bad.	Pointless.
Tokyo Eyes	Drama	Solid and often delicious character study of a couple falling into a strange & warped codependent relationship, with a great cameo from "Beat" Takeshi Kitano. Very well shot and lush with strong bit character appearances. Lush with unusually gritty real world Japan, definitely shot for real as real in local, a refreshing change from the typical black glass pink neon of filmic reality hi-tech high class Tokyo. This felt more sincere, like here's the Japan that locals know and tourists never see. Cool. Plot is contrived to the point of being flat at times, but generally plot seems not the point anyway, over quizzical investigation of the quirks of a few human characters that we're given privy too.	Fun!!!
Waterboys	Inspirational Comedy	When 5 losers sign up to be an all male synchronized swim team, what could possibly go awry? Full of charm, comedy, dolphins, tunes a kung-fu girl and buff young men in Speedos, what can't you like about this film?	Delightful!
Gekko no sasayaki AKA Moonlight Whispers AKA Moonlight Moans	Puberty Drama	Excellent set up, great characters, no real resolution beyond implied nuance that upon retrospection might be giving the filmmakers too much credit. Maybe the money ran out. Definitely an interesting spin on the whole "I wanna be your dog" motif portraying coming of age via the birthing pains of a teenage dominant / submissive couple. Not a bad recommendation for your beloved local foot fetishists, but overall the cover is better than the film for the most part, which is unfortunate, as the first half of the film is pure gold. Love the tagline though "Takuya wants to be Satsuki's dog. Satsuki likes to see Takuya cry. Love hurts." Beautiful. Wouldn't mind doing a Gui-Lo version with more interpersonal relations for contrast "Dick wants to be Jane's dog. Jane loves to see Dick cry. Love hurts."	Almost genius.
Tomie: Replay	Horror	Slicker, tighter and no less entertaining than the first one. Opening is a tad cheesy, but the rest is satisfying and the general mythos works well enough to keep things moving with interest. Definitely more in the style of recent Hollywood mainstream horror. Some really terrific moments around the lead's insane father, and his diary is a set deck masterpiece, nearly as cool as the diary type drawings in Mothman Prophecies. My favorite moment is the dialogue between Tomie's severed and freshly exhumed head and her newly grown and still attached head. Excellent.	Fun!!
Evil Dead Trap	Horror	Some fun gore and one cool industrial location do not make up for bad plot development, poor character relationships, weak set up for the climax, and a very amusing, gory and yet utterly stupid epilogue ghost rebirth (literally, yuck, though wonderfully done to get a satisfactory stomach spasm from the audience). The triple spike impalement of one hapless coworker is slick, but defies logic. The brother living in the man's lung cavity is simply begging to be liberated for something, as it works as well as, if not better than Basket Case or Total Recall as an effective way to hide the monster puppet in the man. Can't believe there are 2 sequels to this out there somewhere. Oh wait, there are at least five sequels to Injukyoshi, so never mind	Had potential, didn't measure up.
Injukyoshi 1 - 5	Tentacle Rape Horror	Due to the overlapping similarities of this series of loosely related schlock films, I felt it best to give them one mega comprehensive overview review rather than several lacking ones. The evil ghost takes over a hapless victim via a rape by a teacher or through the woodland drinking water and is passed on like a supernatural STD from victim to victim through intercourse via long articulated tentacles that seem to erupt from every orifice of the carrier to pierce every orifice of the victim (and sometimes even make a few new ones). The tentacles appear to vary in color, girth and articulation depending on the genetic make up of the carrier. Film climaxes attempt to destroy the monster strain through fire, exorcism, sacrificial slaughter and healthy vitamin regimens, seeming to work only until the next sequel appears on the video store shelf. Of the bunch, the Exorcist homage in 3 is the funniest sequence, while the awkward lesbianism semi-molestation of two (in the woods) and three (in the classrooms) seem the most successfully emotionally charged. The tentacles in the public bath tub scene in five rivals the candy bar scene in Caddy Shack for pretty much the same reasons. Public bath ghost tentacles should never be lumpy OR brown.	Silly though great for big screens at Halloween parties.
Frightful School Horror	Schoolgirl Campfire Scares	Three half-hour vignette chunks that prove the suburbs of Japan are inherently great places to film digital outdoors and in classrooms. Other than the inherently pretty environments like the assortment of classrooms, wooden hallways, swimming pools and beach front industrial gymnasiums, this thing is pretty weak. The "punch lines" are anti-climatic at best, frustrating and disappointing at worst, while the generally arbitrary screeching Casio tone score is annoying like inner mouth blisters on spicy enchilada night. The screeching monkeys sound FX used for the flurry of unseen crows haunting one mentally challenged (my assessment, not the script's) gymkata cutie is hilarious. In the words of my sound sensai Murry "Screaming monkeys. You can never go wrong with screaming minces." Apparently not, as this was a highlight of the film, which is saying very little. The spiraling camera work in the second installment made my kidneys ache. The cut always to frogs, vivisected frogs, tree frogs and a few dead crows did little to invoke fear, but did invoke a deep desire to hit the fast forward button. Did learn a few morals, I guess. 1. Schoolgirls of all ages should stay the hell away from schools after hours, especially during the summer, especially especially when classes are about to resume in just a day or two. 2. Don't trust "newcomer" students. Ever. 3. If a sign next to a door says stay the heck out or die, it is probably best heeded. 4. If an editor says he's not sure which sequence to use for the chairs falling on the little girl part of the script, pick one. "Both" is a very, very bad answer. 5. Some school girls don't wear baggy socks after all, but all wear underwear bigger than your Granny's. 6. Ear bleeds are a sign of possession by the ghost of a pissed off crow you've pitied, let your doctor know! 7. Never give a ghost girl your water pistol. 8. Never pick up a scalpel from the floor you didn't yourself just drop. Especially if there is blood on it. 9. Licking a frog that has just leapt from your dead classmates' split belly will probably not make you high, but will likely have an adverse affect on the camera man. 10. To repeat, never ever give a ghost your water pistol, especially if it is loaded.	Bemusing & painful.
Misty	Historical Whodunit	Excellent cinematography throughout, although some of the steady cam work could have been smoother, or done with a dolly, as the operator appeared to be running through the woods hopping roots and rocks. This works great if the shot is chasing someone, but feels very distracting when the shot is orbiting an otherwise static central point of focus. The plot has schisms, perhaps from a desire to adhere so religiously to the very letter of the novel the film is based on that annoyances like continuity, suspension of disbelief and a minimal amount of clarity were sacrificed for the master aesthetic goals. The opening scene, for example, is so swift and unclear that as it has so much bearing on the outcome of the story, through either coincidence or fate (never really clarified) this scene of all scenes should have been expanded or at least expounded upon. Especially when trifles like the couple being lit from a mirror while having sex in the bushes after just being robbed by bandits (an odd in of itself, but one I'll go with) are pondered on at great length. Or how the husband got tied up exactly. No recounted story addressed that, and worse, all accounts heavily weighed in the fact that the husband at some point had to be freed by someone. Sure, the base plot, what really happened to the dead guy and how'd the hand get lopped off certainly entertains, as each time the story gets revisited for a fresh perspective the forest environment radically changes and every version looks stunning. Seeing Yuki Amami being undressed for each remembered account has merits for some, I'm sure. Inversely, seeing the master bandit Red Lizard evolve through the accounts from a brutal rapist into a kinder gentler rapist into a sensitive hard lover into just a man enchanted is very disconcerting. And the notion that you can keep your eyes closed while your wife is being raped so that you might better pretend she is actually having sex with you is something only a male could come up with. And back to the opening scene, I get that the Red Lizard has twice brought tragedy into the protagonist's life. Don't have any idea why, or worse, why I should care. A thought: Red Lizard might possibly be an homage to Ash in Evil Dead 2, which really would explain everything after all.	Almost cool. Nice art.
The Ring 0: Birthday	Horror	Best one yet of the Japanese series. Well shot, well art directed, wonderfully told with generally minimal exposition. Solid ending and really a great way to get everyone on the same page at last about who the hell Sadako really is and how she actually died. Sweet. Really enjoyed the Dutch roll camera tilt during the conversation between Sadako and her "dad". And who can forget the excellent reveal of the two dead ladies and their home made instant wall flowers? Sadako is an inspiration to disco floors world wide with her crazy possessed resurrected girl two-step approach. Really something special in that girl, wonderfully portrayed by the stunning Yukie Nakama. Bonus features on the DVD are loads of fun as well, really enjoyed the bonus Sadako material.	Excellent!
Go	Drama	An excellent coming of age film from a very interesting perspective. Yôsuke Kubozuka is amazing as Sugihara, a disenfranchised Korean kid born and raised in Japan, suffering from issues of identity, true love, eclectic friends, trauma, death, love, racism, a mighty bare knuckle boxer dad, a milk swilling mom, considering walking barefoot on the highway after a sock to the groin and seeing frequent flashes of panties by the girl he adores. His friend's tragic fate underscores the considerable themes of the film. Well shot, well paced, funny, sharp, often taking surprising and surprisingly sincere turns throughout.	Excellent!!
Psycho Doctor	Sexual Thriller	Gynecologist with fetish for women's panties gets violently involved in a couple's sadomasochistic relationship while turning down offers of true love from his nurse assistant at work and video game lessons on life from an 8 year old at the local arcade.	Silly.
The Perfect Education 2	Sexual Thriller	Man abducts teen, holds her hostage and trains her to love him truly madly deeply. Man gets arrested, girl goes to shrink to find out about memories she's repressed of being abducted and more importantly if she really did see a UFO the day the man abducted her. The only point of merit to this is the aesthetic of the Polaroids and notes the abductor takes daily to document the hostage's development which later serves to illustrate passage of time and changes to her mental temperament. Also liked the power play that eventually made her the boss over the man, to the point of sending him to buy new carpet, linen, fashion magazines and toiletries. Sounds like marriage to me. I'm kidding. Sort of.	Surreal from an overly male perspective.
Hiruko the Goblin	Schlock Horror	Female ghost head with spider legs and a tongue Gene Simmons would envy whacks a bunch of kids by singing them to the point of suicide, kind of like that new Brittany Spears album. Lots of blood, lots of bad arachnid puppetry, an archaeologist garage ghost buster, a kid with with tumors on his back that look like his dead friends, heaps of creepy school settings and a crotchety old grounds keeper with a shotgun and a score to settle. Oh boy.	Entertainingly bad.
Ichi the Killer (Director's Uncut Version)	Yakuza Crime Schlock Horror Action Sex Comedy	As you might guess from that opening sentence fragment this film has a smidgen of everything. Slick editing, excellent cinematography, decidedly interesting (if underdeveloped) characters, interesting CGI, experimental compositing, blood, semen, urine, more blood, unidentifiable innards, more blood, arterial spray, nipple vivisection, tongue augmentation, amateur tattoo removal, a deceptively buff old Chinese man, a psychotic masochist Yakuza boss with the Joker's flair for fashion and a real shark's bite, colorful thugs, former cop who became a mob gunman after being fired for losing his pistol while on duty. Oh, and lets not forget a huge body count, a bevy of brutal beauty, a deep lesson on the practical application of the infamous "No means yes" theory, a kid that feeds raw Yakuza meat to neighborhood crows, creative head wear, new uses for a hotel television set, new uses for crochet needles and several tips on home renovation. Did I mention the huge body count? This film is well made and comes from a very brilliant place in the production crew's collective. A very disturbing place as well. At moments this thing is a comic book come to life, but never as flat as Riki Oh or Tomb Raider (did I say "flat"? Well, I mean the story and acting, not, er, well, you know...). It offers a heap of new milestones in low brow crime cinema for the desensitized 600 channel digital chowder generation. And let's not forget the ending, or lack of one. This leaves itself open for a follow up with the most overt display of high art semi-linear sequence shots I've seen in quite some time. Smart enough to make you repeat view it and appreciate that this has more teeth than the typical Troma style schlock with considerably deeper roots. Not for the average recreational viewer, but a rock solid and stunning piece of work. And the titles. For those who get this enjoy: remember that frying pan scene in the Butthole Surfers' Hairway to Steven video parody of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, thing "satan" but in CGI and a hell of a lot cooler. Ichi. Number 1. Can u dig it? Note: the version I prefer is the uncut version, though I have seen both. The difference is about 15 minutes more than the conventional version, most of that is gore and a quick dialogue scene in a noodle shop. I'd would recommend the uncut version, since anyone wanting to see this kind of film would certainly miss what was cut.	Excellent!
Weather Woman Returns	Soft core comedy	Much better shot and written than the first but not nearly as bizarre or explicit. Shot in a beautiful small mountain town in Japan the settings are inherently heartwarming, especially the hot spring. It's a solid piece with as much story depth as an average Police Academy sequel. Some great moments with the antagonist, though, her costumes and habits were entertaining.	An after school special with nudity.
All Night Long Volume 3 The Final Chapter	Horror	Socially retarded high school kid starts collecting neighbor lady's garbage and builds a shrine with her trash to document her life, including a stunning wall grid with her monthly cycles and evidence to match with place holders for missing and anticipated special days. He works with a collection of social miscreants cleaning rooms in a love motel. As you probably expect, when his coworkers track down a bounce ko gal (high school girls who lure men into love hotels promising sex for cash, then taser or mace the schmuck and steal his loot, see the flick Bounce Ko Gals for an award winning fictional account based on the very real and very disturbing cultural phenomenon) and leave her for dead in the local dump, our protagonist would take her home and nurse her to health as a surrogate neighbor woman (practice make perfect). At least until she has to go and ruin his little fantasy for him by speaking. Apparently Japanese school girls only need one small Hefty bag to haul them in pieces back to the dump to incinerate. He burns her body along side the "Dust Hunter" he's just killed with a shovel ALA Re-Animator. "Dust Hunter" is the mentor character in this twisted odyssey, a seasoned trash collector with an entirely library documenting people's lives through the objects they've thrown out to disgustingly personal extremes. Perhaps the act of slaying the mentor and the practice dummy school girl is a statement about shirking authority for independence, heck, maybe this whole film is a exaggerated extrapolation of the power struggle we all face in life, authority versus submission, to live or die in spirit as well as being. This would explain why the film establishes a "mother" figure in the laundry room at the love hotel who shows the protagonist the secret vent view into the often occupied suite? Especially when his final arc to manhood (no pun intended) means lashing out violently at the woman when she's trying to manipulate his, er, manhood while he watches the woman he's been stalking consummate her fling in the sweat suite. Or maybe I'm giving this thing way too much credit. So anyway, protagonist reaches manhood by killing off the posse, some sales clerks, the boyfriend of the woman he's been stalking and finally we end with his room, which had been trashed (he manages to actually trash a room decked out in trash) as he glances proudly at the woman he's been stalking sitting securely in a corner waking up to discover herself neatly secured inside a Hefty garbage bag. Credits roll and I realize I've just seen one of the most warped things since Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer. Remember that sore gut from over wrenching feeling you had after that film? Feel it all over again for the first time with this one, if you want to. Personally I've mixed feelings about it. On the one hand there are some priceless moments, like the time he stopped by the break room at the store where the woman he's been stalking works and asks her coworkers where she might be. Well, asks two of them, since he shot the third when he walked in. This scene is out of control, very Heathers style black humor as he forces the remaining two girls to play rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets shot next. Ouch. Or the mentally handicapped nephew of the love motel manager who would no more that pee on the bounce ko gal but when presented with a chance to know the staked woman's boyfriend better takes it with an earnest effort that even Pulp Fiction fans might turn away from (again, comedic but extreme). Out of control.	Tweaked.
JUNK aka Shiryour gari	Zombie & Crime	Re-Animator meets Return of the Living Dead and just about any action Yakuza movie. Teaches the lesson of considering rejuvenating relationships with the "Ex" when "Ex" means "dead" rather than "divorced." Nice story of amateur jewel thieves meeting up with their Yakuza buyers at a factory that happens to be a secret US research hot spot in Japan where the all too familiar neon green caught syrup has a tendency to cause carnivorous appetites in the reanimated dead which of course there are a stockpile of pending use as test subjects. Well shot, excellent industrial environment and a less than painful story to boot. A few Tom Savini tricks stand out, like little obvious bits like rubber meat and replacement heads, but frankly no harm no foul there considering how juicy and tight the rest generally delivers. Though not as over the top as Versus this ends considerably better and leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy afterwards. Liked the added twist of an intelligent zombie, no complaints about her lack of costume for much of the film either. Small grumble that she isn't developed further, relegating her to a mid-level ladder style video game boss or second string average Buffy the Vampire Slayer villain. And while the film explains where she picks up the jacket, the boots had no explanation unless thigh high female boots are standard regulation emergency gear for factories should one of two women on the premises suddenly find themselves in dire need of fetish footwear. Her sudden hair color change could have been left out as this is distracting at best. Yes, I'm nit picking. I can't help wish that she were a stronger element when structurally she is the catalyst for the zombie outbreak and an evolution above the rest of the flesh eaters. She even speaks coherently with her hubby. This was a cool idea, could have been more instead of relegating her into the typical schlock gore ghost ghoul shtick.	Groovy!!